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{November 6, 2008}   Chapter one Meet again (1)

Chapter one Meet again (1)
Do you ask I believe the love? Do you think so? The love is of poisonous weeds, it is beyond the control of you and believe, take root, spread, rotten, poison a lot of persons defying the law to death. We are not greedy, we are just too hungry, drink Shu and quench the thirst. Black long skirt flies to scatter in the wind, it is a bit cool on day in early autumn, I see Xiao Cheng, it is still a pair of so bright eyes, pure, let people think of the pool water in the remote mountains.
It is an accident with Xiao Cheng’s reunion. Draw, come out, breathe heavily as him half drunk me thick air lean against the wall in Yesterday, say to me: “Is the ice blue, is you? ” I have hit one coldly and quiverly sometimes. Ice blue, how remote memory, at this moment I call Jing Wen, one strange and well-behaved name, in a strange city, are doing the thing of strange and don’t duty. Nobody knows who I am, I and previous life have broken off everything and got in touch, such life lets me feel safe. Hide by day and come out at night, in the daytime, I am a quiet and lonely cat, yes, I dislike cats this kind of animal, it lets me think gloomily, but someone once said to me, you looked like a cat very much, even expression picture. I unable to imagine oneself make cat what like it is at the expression of kind, but now, I thought I have really become a cat, cold and detached, gloomily, perhaps there are nine lives. I roll up, into room, watch Lars Du oneself, watch spring tree at the village, watch Ba Jin Lao She and the Four Books and the Five Classics too, it is one of the interests that I am few to read, another interest, just smoke, like seeing cigarettes to rise then fly away slowly before eyes, just like life, so changeable, disappear in a flash too after all, certainly, another reason, just cherish the memory of. Since afternoon, smoke, read, will foot walks up and down in the room only in mood agitated morning in I, drink, freeze ice-cold water large while being large, convulsion once again to wait for stomach, will forget in the middle school of the agony. This of one living room and one sitting room room, full of book and magazine in the room, in disorder, but I have a slight clean addiction, so, a thing done every day is to wipe the ground, bit by bit, wipe the suds, then the smooth foot is dancing above, always enjoy. At night, I am that the cigarette look at the charming woman competently, wear the black hanging strip, pale face, appear in the bars of the streets and lanes, no, please don’t suspect, I have decent incomes, make a living in one yard of words. I write pale fragile characters, write popular decadence of city, write this generation of young man’s rotten life in city. Dare, show person knowing characters of me, they so hard to tear soul of me ice-cold, regard agony as the bottom to line with, let people feel the despair appeared at heart.
The young girl’s song comes in one’s ear.
I think I will be lonely, lifetime will be so lonely.
I think I will have been lonely all the time, so lonely all one’s life.
The bright bluer the sky is, afraid of resuming looks.
The more satisfactory the film is, the more sentimental feel.
Please don’t suspect your song, it can bring happiness to me. Happiness is luxurious to a lot of people, we can not afford to consume. Do you ask I believe the love? Do you think so? The love is of poisonous weeds, it is beyond the control of you and believe, take root, spread, rotten or not, poison a lot of persons defying the law to death. We are not greedy, we are just too hungry, drink Shu and quench the thirst. Black long skirt flies to scatter in the wind, it is a bit cool on day in early autumn, I see Xiao Cheng, it is still a pair of so bright eyes, pure, let people think of the pool water in the remote mountains.
“Let’s dance. ” I danced in the wind, the looks were circulated, has gathered people around us, I know, oneself is still beautiful, though, I have been already no longer young.
The tear, hurt and wronged, accumulates strongly fragrantly, come down in torrents and appear under this young gaze. Xiao Cheng, I did not think we would met again.
Meet and succeed desolately each time, are all that I feel awkward moment most. Just now desolate to become, rely that piece look gather, come over, splash one wine fat person at face beat, translate in place me, I thought one’s own one had dim eyesight. What a face known well, let me get back to the times when want to forget.
With the meeting firstly of Xiao Cheng, it is in H large campus. At that time, I give up honourable work for so-called love, toss about in bed, come these city, say to me if you can close to me a bit, that better, I can experience breath of you only and tall and erectly.
At noon in early summer, the sun has already been sinister, with so tall and erect as to make a noise some mood on the phone, feel uneasy really, are all depressing breath everywhere in the room. Life wonders when is ceaselessly waiting at the beginning, and the big silence of section, I begin to get drunk, that kind of liquid letting persons forget vexation temporarily is red, the blood is general.
It is H big and not far from my cabin, will go to there to take a walk once in a while, is looking at the smiling face wantonly of those children, so simple happiness, then infected. Sit there for one afternoon sometimes, that is the time remembering. I think, I am old; Alternatively, I am unhappy. Will often remember for that period of happy days in the campus when being unhappy, make people old and feeble too early unhappily.
Classmates, do we seem to meet?
The tone of hesitating, clumsy opening remarks. Then, I have seen a pair of limpid and bright pupils, just like Su Yang of that year.
I smile. It seems.
He does not have the defense sector at all either openingly, what a clear smile, it is very good to be young.
My name is Xiao Cheng. And you?
The ice is blue.
The ice is blue, blue ice, pleasant name, but and you are incongruous, you should be happy.
I smile. 26 years old, encounter a grieved love, is involved in ceaselessly wait again, the ice is blue, can you be happy?
Xiao Cheng, it is a lot of years since I have already graduated, willing, you can call me an elder sister.

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