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{November 6, 2008}   Chapter six Flower (2) of pessimism

Chapter six Flower (2) of pessimism
Kissing ears of my inflammation tall and erectly, the ice is blue, you needn’t suffer such torment for me.
I am perfectly willing.
The ice is blue, your reality is ordered, come back as soon as possible. Bei Bei is said on the phone, that of yours does not call the love at all. Others go, act as the other person is to get wealth to take color, what is your picture, is the ice blue? Don’t let me snivel then, will pay no attention to you.
In fact the ice is blue, you can not forget the small soldier all the time, don’t retaliate against by this way, will only be injured further.
The ice is blue, you are not yourself now, do not have consciousness? You two unfair role actually, why person who always enjoy awkward oneself always it will be you?
You are wrong, Bei Bei.
I have nipped off the telephone of Bei Bei, I do not need others’ understanding, still more. Bei Bei has been said, this kind of personality not crying without knocking into the south wall of yours, should suffer losses sooner or later. Sit on the rattan chair, some cigarettes, finger tips twine round the small soldier’s taste, yes, perhaps the small soldier has already become a part in my life, a kind of habit. Then, do I love on earth to the tall and erect emotion? , I am really lonely, and this man intrudes upon in an appropriate way when being appropriate, need only a word can touch soft rib to get me, then compromise.
Day begins to become very long, I begin to be melancholy, and more in tall and erect sight one layer is perplexed. I am a sensitive woman, have eyes which know the affairs of human life clearly, tall and erect sight begins to be free, begin to lack resolution, he does not carry, I do not say either. Will break out some day.
Happiness written in water like this always, I could not remember the happiness that once had unexpectedly. Once a kiss that he suddenly gave on the street to me made me excited, he is originally a very serious person in the public occasion. Do not just know when to begin, he no longer takes me by hand, he says, the ice is blue, whether you don’t swing one’s arm while walking, do not need the tap-tap, a bit more polite. Get up to give and buy the breakfast tall and erectly early, but he has only eaten two, says, the ice is blue, I do not like eating this. Then busy to go, buy vegetables, cook without end, tall and erect to stop after getting a little knowledge of a subject or about sth., immediately, red eye socket, tidy up the bowls and chopsticks getting hurt and wronged.
Emotion and life, was really two different matters originally, I began to be perplexed and alarmed, began to be agitated, in life, so nitpicking a man, can deal with and obtain.
Xiao Cheng will often phone, invite me to go out to play together, or go to his place to eat, he knows I am lazy, generally speaking always live not so badly the bubbles of eating.
He says, the ice is blue, you should live a normal life, there is daily life with normal normal work, there could be good health and fitness in this way, you will upset people very much if go on like this.
I say Cheng Xiao, the emperor anxious in anxious eunuch really. The desolate achievement acts as the first puffed rice for me.
I talk about Xiao Cheng, you are not too arrogant, can not put down the wife carefully, a friend of mine once warned us seriously, must not dare to look for and study medicine to look for the boyfriend, the sex is cold, or a clean addiction. The eyelid that her doctor’s boyfriend suddenly opened her when two people looked at each other exuding tenderness and love says that it is said, not bad, the color is normal. Or stroke her vertebra from top to bottom when holding her, then say, not bad, not aslant. The fantastic one is abnormal.
Xiao Cheng laughs, Haha, puts down and can not bring you to press the stockaded village.
All of a sudden I sink the lower face.
Xiao Cheng no longer speaks, sometimes, feels Xiao Cheng is very afraid I, afraid I am angry. And I, angry in front of him unprincipled just, one that is all hurt and wronged to vent on at his place.
The ice is blue, I think you more and more unhappy, why?
How? Besides, Buddha says, will come down in order to suffer hardships in life. I smile.
Xiao Cheng smiles too, I just hope you can be happy.
Destined too to be sad if perhaps belong to the blue happiness of ice. I am a person apt to be depressed and worried, can open the flower of pessimism in the piping times of peace.
Take Zhuo by hand, walk in this piece on we strange city very. The tall and erect step is very big, I must trot, seem to be always catching up with the paces of a kind of different frequency. Why consciousness unexpectedly when the beginning, it is calm to get blindly, the truth not changed from days of old in this love formula. And I, will still be holding tall and erect arms very sweetly, look up at him gently, even he is displeased, it is unbending that I have me. And I know this arm to belong to me curved originally, I wonder how long still can be had.
Once saw such a word: Future disaster, the mouth dry tongue be, happy today, will all like.
Liking very much, there is a kind of great desperate scene. Walked out and grew the desperate air grown too while walking unexpectedly. The place waning of the lights, will fall down if the tears are baffled, wipe away silently, it is the woman’s tears that he is most afraid. Have kinds of man, see tears want, run away, I, give tall and erect to bring the heavy feeling already. I see, but can’t get rid of.
Stand by a small stand selling the silverware, hands pick up a on and white carving silver is given up, hang a same silver to give up on my neck, I do not admit having any memory to the small soldier oneself, but can’t lose this finger ring all the time. Had once stared at it tall and erectly for a long time, did not speak at last. In this way the man of the age, has already known clearly. A lot of things can’t be said, it is wrong to say, for example love. I have thought it tall and erect, he is looking at me too, very strange expression in one’s eyes, have no language relatively.
At that time, Xiao Cheng intrudes upon.
The man that is holding looking at among I and arm, become a little distracted desolately.
Is the ice blue? Child child really, how can cover up calmly like being tall and erect. And tall and erect, have also already pierced and succeeded desolately.
I pretend to greet happily, Xiao Cheng, tall and erect.
One in a few words is greeted, the victory or defeat is divided promptly.

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